Happy Valentine's Day??

I woke up this morning and took a pregnancy test. It was negative. A few hours later, I notice some light pink/brown spotting. Today is awful. I can't stop crying. I know it is not final until I get my blood test on Thursday (it's now Sunday) but I can't help feeling that this didn't work out.
Why not? I have been praying daily since I started the IVF drugs. Some believe in prayer.
I know my family and friends have been praying, crossing fingers, sending good wishes and all that.
The nurse from the fertility clinic called b/c I am still calling in with my stats. They are so nice and I want to cry again when I talk to them. She said that as long as it's only spotting, that is good.
How am I going to get through this day... waiting to see if I remain spotting or get my full flow?
What am I going to do? Am I going to have my dream come true? Or not? What next.

The wait begins

I have done my one and only round of IVF. They harvested 24 eggs on Monday, Feb 1. I got some nice drugs, and IV, and a very dry mouth. The needle I was so dreading was much better than getting a needle from the dentist in your mouth. I was able to see them harvest the eggs - it was pretty cool. I did not feel sore due to the procedure but I felt sore due to the over-enlarged ovaries.

So, we kept getting updates.
Day 0: Out of the 24 eggs, 21 were fertilized
Day 1: 16 fertilized eggs are at the 2-cell stage
Day 3: We were called it to have the implantation b/c they felt this was the best time (not the optimum time though - that would have been Day 5).

We go to Genesis and are told that I will have 4 embryos implanted. They have graded them as a "C" - again, not as good as a A or B but pregnancies have resulted from C grades. They also mentioned that the 9 remaining embryos will stay in a culture till day 6. If any survive, they will be frozen for use at a future date - but they said this was unlikely. Sigh, our sperm and eggs are not doing as well.
They gave us a picture of our 4 embryos - Larry, Curly, Moe, and Suzie

Anyway, the implantation was cool! Other than the speculum, we were able to see the catheter with the embryos go in and be implanted in my uterus. It looked like a star. If we are blessed with a pregnancy I will always remember this. Now it is a waiting game.

On the more not so good side, my ovaries are hyper stimulated - they are bigger than my bladder! In addition, I have fluid in my pelvic region. I was in a lot of pain and very bloated. I am now on a restricted liquid intake (nothing like being told you can't drink something or too much and how thirsty you become). I also have to measure my 'girth' and my weight daily and report it. What I can drink: Gatorade and Boost; juice and milk; but NOT tea or water.

So, I went back to work today. I felt good and I felt bad throughout the day. If this results in a pregnancy, it is worth it. If it doesn't, it was worth it to try but this attempt would be our last.

Now we wait.

Wow, a lot has happened.

To make a long story short, they harvested 24! eggs from me. They were surprised with that many for my age. 21 of those eggs got fertilized and on day 1, 16 of those eggs were at the 2 cell stage. I am now waiting for my call this Thursday to find out how many embryos there are and if I get implanted Thursday or Saturday - Saturday being the best time.

The negative side - because my ovaries have produced so many eggs, they are over stimulated. I am suffering from mild Ovary Hyperstimulated Syndrome. It is not fun. I hurt - I hurt to walk, lay down, and just be. The doctor has given me a prescription to hopefully settle them down. I hope it works fast. This is not fun.

In fact, if we had planned to do IVF 2x, I would seriously consider not doing it because of how I feel.

Having said that, I am excited to see where we go from here.