The baby desire

Well, for over 2 years we have been trying to have a baby. It isn't going well. I am 'old' and the sperm count is low. We have tried to get pregnant naturally - no go, so we went through a low cost fertility method (if you call 300 dollars low cost) but that involved me taking Clomid to have more chance at ovulationg and D providing a sample that got washed and then... think turkey baster. We tried this 3 x and nothing.

Right now, we await our visit to the fertility doctor to go to the next stage - IVF. Expensive and our last hope, unless some miracle happens and we get pregnant naturally.

Speaking of which, I am in that 'wait' zone. I did the pee stick yesterday morning and nothing but my hope is ever so strong that some miracle has happened and until I get my period, the hope stays alive.

Today, I was at the dentist and there was a picture of my dentist with her new baby girl. I wish her all the best and am happy for her but I have to admit the thought of "why can't this be me?" and "will this be me?" was overwhelming.

Update

Well, it sure has been a long time since I blogged... it is amazing how fast the time goes. I have been thinking about blogging again as an outlet for... stuff, specifically fertility stuff.

I don't know if anyone will read this but I feel I must write down something.

Anyway, to start, this past July 2009 I finished my Master's in Deaf Ed. What an achievement I think! I am so happy and I enjoyed it immensely. I had the pleasure of rooming with 3 other Master DHH students but they were just beginning. I was a bit envious about the journey they are to embark on as there has been some changes to the program, but, I am glad I am finished.

The other adventure Dan and I have embarked on is trying to start a family... this is where major hurdles are occurring and which will be the topic of my next posting and possible the next postings after that.

So, if you are interested, stay tuned. If not, no worries.

the good and the bad

Wow, it has been a long time writing - Life with Dan is pretty darn good. I am still working on my Master's but I will be finished at the end of July 2009! I will then be able to celebrate my anniversary with my husband next year - for our fourth.

The bad - we have been trying to have a baby. No such luck. We have moved to the next step to get medical intervention to help us achieve this. Our first try with help will be in August. I sure hope it works. It is the least expensive so we hope it works. We will try 3 rounds of this before the big IVF.

One of the hardest thing to deal with is the waiting when we were attempting just with the two of us. The other is not to get depressed and then lament of the unfairness of it all - be it real or imagined.
So, if anyone out there reads this, please send happy thoughts, prayers, and talk to whatever power that is that we will be successful in creating a beautiful new life.

Back in Trail

Well, I left my last blog as my departure to UBC and now I have returned. UBC is great with the nice weather and not even too bad with the wet. We did have more sun than not. Classes were great but it is even greater to be home - even with a cold.

One of the first things I did was read my new Harry Potter book that was waiting for me at home. I just finished it today. It was very good.

Slowly but surely, I have been unpacking and working on bits of the house that I want to get done. I want to re-organize my desk so that I am all ready to start up again in September.

Dan and I are planning our holiday to Alberta that we start next week... a bit late but who cares. It will be just the two of us exploring and our first vacation together.

Hope everyone's summer is going great.

No Turning Back

Well, here it goes. Today is my last day in Trail before I take off to Vancouver every July for the next 3 of them. I officially start my Master's Degree in Deaf Ed. I am so looking forward to it (except that I will miss Dan and Mouse terribly) but I have worked in my job for 1 year now and it is time to get the 'school learning' started rather than invaluable 'hands on' experience.

I feel like I am packing my house with the list of things I need to bring. I was trying to go there with a light load. Oh well.

I am busy cleaning up the house before I leave in hopes that it will look that way when I get back. What happens in between, I don't care, I just want to come back to a tidy house.

I will still be checking in. Happy July and Canada Day.

Angela

The Olive Garden

We just came back from a weekend in Spokane. It was great - well, the hotel wasn't - but everything else was. I can't believe my husband when it comes to shopping for what he is looking for... he takes so long! I have had enough of surplus and liquidation stores. I got my thrills from Victoria Secret and shoe stores. My only requirement was for us to go to the Olive Garden. Has anyone been? If you like pasta and good food, that is a great place to go. I love it.

Research course is done! Yippee! And one week from today, I will be in Vancouver. Oh, wow, the time has flown so fast.

From out of the dark (momentarily)

For those of you who wondered if I am still around, I came out of my dark hole of study, for the moment. I love to study or learn but this research analysis course is not very thrilling and it takes up way too much of my time; the house is a mess, my banking isn't done, my weeds are winning, and I want time back for myself and my husband (he has been sick so that is kind of good b/c he just wants to be left alone - now, am I awful for saying that is a good thing that he is sick?).

And to top it all off, the final assignment is due the day after my birthday!!! So, there is the panic to get it done ahead of time. EEK!

Anyway, there are 2 more weeks left of school, then I will go down to Vancouver to start my masters, yes, study, but this will be in my area of wanting to learn. Then that month will go by and then it will be August... my holidays.

So, that is it since I last wrote.

Ciao.