cautious hope

Well, I am well into my injections - incredible how easy it is to do! I do have a couple of beautiful bruises though.

At the moment, I am on a medical leave because I had to leave town to go to the next town to be monitored via both blood tests and internal ultrasounds - ever had one of them?

Anyway, they are WOW happy at how my ovaries have responded. I guess it is not all that common for a woman of my age (42) to have as many follicles as I do. Even the fertility clinic in Vancouver is impressed. My doctor mentioned to her nurse that 'Didn't Dr. So & So say that women in their 40's don't get hyper stimulated ovaries?" Well, I proved him wrong. Yay!

So, after 2 ultrasounds and hearing the responses from the doctor, I am feeling cautiously optimistic. Now, I just have to wait for the next step - where they send me to Vancouver for harvesting and the rest of IVF.

One one final note, many years ago, there was great controversy about Louise Brown - the first test tube baby - thank you to her and her team b/c my dream of becoming a mom is possible because of her.

The injections begin

Wow, I now know how to give myself needles - not so bad actually. I was really nervous on my first day because I had to mix the drug myself. My hands shook. When I injected myself with the hormone, it went well.... but I sure made a beautiful bruise. The following injections have been pretty bruise free.

Today, I started the Gonal F as well as the Lupron so that makes 4 injections a day.

I am so scared that this won't work and we have a good chance that it won't; but it is our best chance. I am going to stay positive and think positive thoughts.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This is it

Well, this is it. Tomorrow I start giving myself injections to start my IVF cycle which will send me to Kelowna and then Vancouver, where I hope a miracle will happen.
Today, I just realized that thanks to 'Louise Brown', I believe the first test tube baby, I have a chance at becoming pregnant.
On the other hand, I am petrified - not becoming a mom, as I always felt that was one person I am supposed to be but scared that what if this doesn't work out; what about the gigantic cost we are incurring for our slim hope? I know I will feel some guilt feelings on that.
On the positive side, on which I try to stay, this is our best chance.

If anyone out there reads this, wish us luck and say a few prayers.